Under the Cherry Blossoms
by LoveWritingStories
Summary: Reid has been acting weird and his team has begun to notice the changes. When a child comes in, it may be enough to push Reid over the edge into the realm of suicide. But is the missing girl really what is bugging him? Or is it a trigger for something worse? Can the BAU team find the girl, help Reid and find out what is truly bothering him before time runs out? TW: Abuse, Suicide.
1. Chapter 1

**I dont own Criminal Minds**

**I know this is short okay? Its only the first chapter. I'm sorry if anyone is OOC, but I tried. Please read and hopefully enjoy. Also, any statics I use in this, I took from credible sources so they should be correct.**

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_"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength."- Corrie Ten Boom_

It was a late Monday afternoon near the end of March. The time sat at about 4:30pm, and the FBI's best and brightest had been gifted with a day off. No cases had come in at that time, which meant the team got the wonderful job of paperwork. Regardless, almost everybody had finished their reports, everyone expert one.

Morgan sat at his desk playing with a stress ball he had picked up from the store a day before and listening to music. Prentiss had a book in hand and she seemed to be about half way through it. JJ was showing Garcia photo's of Henry. While Hotch and Rossi sat in Hotch's office, talking about something. The room was noisy, even though few were speaking. Reid sat overly still at his desk. A single cup of coffee was set down, next to a pile of papers he had yet to fill out. He was leaning back in his chair, eyes closed. For the past few weeks, Reid had been acting strange. He was always tired, but never seemed to be able to sleep, he had also been it little bit more irritable than normal. Reid has also seemed anxious and stressed all the time. It was clear that something wasn't right. Yet, it seemed that not even the best profilers in the world could pick up their co-worker, and friend's, obvious distress.

After a few minutes, the team started to notice Reid's silence and strange habits. JJ put away her phone and muttered in Garcia's ear.

"What's up with Reid? He seems too quiet" She whispered. Garcia turned to look at him before looking back at JJ.

"No clue," she replied in a worried tone. Even one sign that something was wrong couldn't be good. After all, Reid had become a master at deceiving his team mates.

JJ glanced around the room. "Think we should point it out to Morgan?" she asked. Garcia nodded and the two got up before starting towards Morgan's desk.

Garcia reached Morgan first and tapped him on the shoulder. Spinning around in his chair, he turned to face her. "Well hello my candy coated Goddess," he told Garcia with a seductive smirk.

"No time sugar," she replied as JJ came up with Emily at her side. "Good, you're both here. Check out our genius boy."

Emily and Morgan turned their heads to look at Reid, he still sat strangely still. Morgan raised his eyebrows, Garcia and JJ shrugged in response.

A quick glance at Hotch's office window confirmed that both he and Rossi stood watching Reid, both with a worried look. Yet the young genius still remained oblivious with the pile of unfinished work in front of him. It was unusual for anybody on the BAU team to slack off on their work, especially Reid.

At last, Morgan broke the silence. Getting up, he walked over the Reid's desk and placed his hands on it. Morgan leaned against it for a moment as he waited for Reid to notice. The young genius' breathing indicated that he wasn't sleeping, yet for some reason, he hadn't noticed his partner's presence.

"Reid?" Morgan finally asked, causing the young genius to jump and jerk his eyes open. "You okay Pretty Boy?"

Reid took a deep breath and looked around, as if he was trying to figure out where he was.

"Reid?" Morgan asked again, pulling the boy's attention back.

Reid finally turned to face Morgan; it was easy to tell that something was bothering him. "Did you know that; there are about 80 suicides and 2150 suicide attempts each day? That means, almost every 17 minutes, somebody kill themselves. Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the US and kills more people each day than homicides. Also For every one female who commits suicide there are about four males. Nearly 60% of all suicides are with firearms. About 90% of people who commit suicide are drug users, former drug users, have mental health disorder, or have a history of mental health problems in their family," he told his friend.

Morgan stood silently for a moment, not sure what to say. He looked around the room. Garcia, Prentiss, and JJ all stood staring with a shocked look plastered on their faces. Hotch and Rossi were standing just outside of Hitch's door, a worried look still on both their faces. They too had heard what Reid had said. The room went deathly silent, nobody dared move or speak and they tried to process what Reid had told them.

The one question that floated through all of their minds was: Is Reid asking for help? Does he want to die? Or was he just saying random facts like her always does? Regardless, nobody had an answer.

Garcia took a breath and stepped toward Reid. "You sure you're okay sugar?" she asked him in a gentle voice.

"What?" Reid asked as if he had finally clicked back into reality, it was only then that he realized everyone was staring at him. "I'm fine."

Garcia gave him an unsure look before JJ pulled her attention away from him.

"Guys, conference room, we have a case," JJ told them all. Everyone nodded; Garcia went to talk to JJ as everyone got up. Reid lingered for a moment at his desk, Morgan waited for him.

"You coming pretty boy?" Morgan asked him as he stood a few feet away. Reid looked towards his friends and gave him a fake smile.

"Yeah," Reid replied.

The team gathered in the conference room, even Garcia was there, the only missing party was JJ. Tension seemed to course through the air like heat from a summer's day. Prentiss, Morgan and Garcia kept sending worried glances towards Reid. Hotch and Rossi pretended they didn't notice that distant look on the team's youngest member's face. Suddenly JJ walked in, she held her phone to her ear and a remote control in her other hand. A stressed and frantic look was plastered on her normally genteel face.

"Yes, we will be there soon, I just need to brief my team, and we'll be on our way, now I have to go. Hold a press conference ASAP" she told the person over the phone before abruptly hanging up.

JJ clicked a button on the remote, and a picture of a young girl came on screen. She had light brown hair and bright green eyes; in the photo she wore a green and white dress. "This is Jessica Andrews; she is eleven years old, a high school student from D.C. Jessica never made it home from school today. There have been three other cases about missing girls, all of which were killed seven hours after being taken. Their bodies were dumped in school yards. She has been missing for two hours at maximum; an amber alert has already been issued."

Suddenly, every thought of Reid was dismissed. The focus was on finding young Jessica.

"Grab your bags, met by the SUVs in fifteen," Hotch said. Everyone nodded and ran off to do their thing. Reid lingered for a moment, the picture of the girl still on screen.

"Reid?" Morgan asked when he noticed the youngster lingering in the room. "We've got to go, now."

It was as if the brown haired agent didn't even register that Morgan was speaking to him. Instead, Reid just stared at the photo as if he were looking at a ghost.

"Reid?!" Morgan called louder, the stress of the circumstance getting to him. It was important that they get to Washington as soon as they could so that they could get that girl home safely.

"She's smart" Reid muttered as he continued staring at the photo.

"Well yeah, most kids are," Morgan replied calmly. They would have to leave ASAP if they were to be on time. "Reid, we've got to go."

Reid nodded but didn't move, "I don't think any of you understand how smart she is. JJ kind of skipped over it, but she said that this girl is eleven, right?" he asked. Morgan nodded, hoping it would help Reid move faster. "JJ also said she was a high school student, eleven years old and in high school… and she is missing." Finally Morgan understood why Reid was staring so intently at the photo. He saw himself in her.

"Hey pretty boy, nobody will think badly of you if you sit this one out," Morgan told him. Reid sighed and shook his head, as if he was trying to physically rid himself of those thoughts.

"No, its fine. Forget I said anything, lets go," Reid told his friend.

As they grabbed their bags, Reid turned to Morgan, "On the upside, the cherry blossoms are at full bloom in Washington." Morgan smiled at him and together they left, grabbed their go-bags and ran off to the cars.

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**Like I said, I tried. Next chapter should be up soon. I love to read reviews, so please review. Review, follow, favorite. Also, please let me know if you find any spelling and/or grammar mistakes, if you tell me where they are, I'll fix them, thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello my loyal readers! *chirp chirp, silence* Well then... so loved.**

**Okay, here is another chapter. i'd just like to thank you all for telling me that they wouldn't have to fly to D.C, I didn't even think about that. Anyways, read and enjoy**

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Two black SUVs pulled up in front of the Andrews' home. Police officers seemed to be crawling over the ground like ants.

The house sat in a modest neighborhood. The siding was a creamy beige, and the trim was green. The surrounding land had green, well kept, grass and a single cherry tree, in full bloom with pink petals, stood its ground at the front edge of the property.

Morgan stopped his SUV just in front of the house, Reid was in the street next to him, reviewing the girls' files. It seemed that the police hadn't come up with any connection between the three yet, not even any specific victimology.

"Find anything else pretty boy?" Morgan asked as he turned off the car.

Reid shook his head, "No, the first three girls were all blonde haired with blue eyes, taken from local libraries. Jessica had brown hair, green eyes and was taken walking home from school. The victimolgy isnt at all similar..." Reid trailed off, he had been doing it the entire ride to Washington. Morgan chose to ignore it, the team had bigger things to deal with than Reid at that moment. With a sigh, he opened his door, Reid followed. The others were just arriving on scene.

"Find anything new?" Hotch asked as he and Rossi approached Reid and Morgan. Prentiss and JJ went to the police station.

Morgan shook his head as he glanced at Reid, who was walking and reading. "Come on Reid, you must have read those files at least a hundreds times since we left." Reid shrugged, his eyes never leaving the page he read.

Hotch raised his eyebrows, silently asking Morgan if he had been that way the whole drive. Morgan just shrugged and began walking towards the house.

Hotch entered the house first, followed by Rossi, Morgan and then Reid. A brunette woman in her late thirties sat on a couch. Her eyes were red and puffy from tears. Next to her was a teenage girl who looked to be about thirteen, Reid recalled reading that Jessica had an older sister. On the woman's other end was a man, he also seemed to be in his late thirties.

Upon seeing the team, the man stood up. "Hello" he said as he shook hands with Hotch. "I'm Darren, Jessica's father, this is Sylvia" he pointed to his wife, "Jessica's mother, and this," he pointed to the girl "is her sister Kristen."

Hotch nodded, "We're from the behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. I'm Agent Hotchner, this is Agent Morgan, Rossi, and Doctor Reid," Hotch told the family as he pointed to each present member of the team.

Darren Andrews nodded.

Hotch turned to look at Reid and Morgan before turning back to face the man. "Agent's Morgan and Reid would like to ask you and your family some questions about Jessica. While Agent Rossi and I would like to take a look in Jessica's bedroom."

The father looked at them as if they were crazy, "But Jessica is the victim here, why do you want to look in her bedroom?"

Before anyone could reply, Reid spoke, "It helps us to know why the UnSub chose Jessica, why, do you have something to hide?"

The room fell silent as everyone processed what Reid had just said. He had implied that the family had part in Jessica's kidnapping.

"Reid, can I talk to you for a moment?" Hotch asked him. Reid rolled his eyes, but followed Hotch out of the room. Morgan and Rossi could be heard from within, trying to do some damage control.

"I'm so sorry about that, can Agent Rossi see her bedroom? I promise that nothing will be moved." Morgan said before his voice faded out of Reid's hearing range.

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The two agents were then standing outside, Reid was looking around.

"What the hell was that Reid?" Hotch asked. The younger man just shrugged as he continued looking around. "Reid?!" Hotch half yelled in a successful attempt to draw his attention back. "What has been with you lately?" he asked.

"Nothing" Reid replied, "I just want to find this girl."

Hotch sighed "we all do, but half accusing her parents of something like this isn't going to help anything or anyone, get your head in the game. You can deal with whatever issues you have going on after this case is over."

Reid eyes met Hotch's in an angry glare, it was completely different than anything Hotch had seen Reid do before. "Not going to help?" He asked angrily. "Have you even realized this yet? This is not the same UnSub as the other three, Jessica has completely different victimology, they're polar opposites. As I realized while reading their files, the first three had learning disabilities. They were behind in their studies at school, which means that UnSub is a teacher or somebody who would know about their learning issues. Jessica is a highschool student, a year ahead of her older sister. She has brown hair and green eyes, not blonde hair blue eyes. She is eleven, the others were nine. She was also taken walking home from school, which means that somebody knows her scheduall, somebody like a family member."

Hotch sighed, knowing Reid was right. There was no way that this was the same UnSub. Regardless, what Reid had said was inappropriate and uncalled for.

"Fine, you're right, happy?" Hotch asked in as calm of a voice as he could manage, anger flooded his veins. "Now cool down Reid. We all need to be calm in order to figure out how to catch this UnSub and get this girl back alive and safe. Okay?" Reid ignored him like a teenager in a bad mood. "Reid?"

A sigh escaped that man, "Fine. I'm good." He told replied.

Hotch raised his eyebrows, but let it go. They needed everyone working that case.

When Hotch and Reid entered the room a second time, the father was gone. Morgan sat with the Mother and sister as he asked questions.

Hotch nodded to Reid who joined Morgan. The woman seemed to ignore his previous accusations, Morgan must have said something.

"Can you think of anyone that seemed out of place?" Morgan asked the family, both shook their heads.

"Morgan, can I talk to you for a moment?" Reid asked. Morgan turned to look at him and nodded.

He stood up and the two walked into the hallways. Keeping his voice low, Morgan asked, "What is it?"

Keeping his voice equally low, Reid replied, "This isn't the same UnSub as the three dead girls. It is likely that UnSub is a teacher of some sort, while this one seems to know Jessica's scheduall."

"So the family knows this UnSub?" Morgan asked. Reid nodded in reply.

The two agents walked back to the family, just as the husband came down stairs. Reid was first to speak, "Do you know anyone that would like to hurt Jessica?"

It was the older sister, Kristen, that replied. "Lots of people. She is eleven years old in high school, a lot of people feel intimidated and jealous because she scores the highest marks in the whole school."

Morgan was next to speak, "So there is a bullying problem at school?"

The next reply came from the mother, "Yes, but is that relevant?"

"Yes," Morgan replied before Reid could. "The other three girls that went missing were popular, and well liked. Of Jessica isn't, then its probably not the same person." Nods came from around the room.

"So you don't think that this is related to the other girls?" Jessica's father asked in a hopeful tone. Morgan and Reid nodded. "That means we could have even more time to find her, right?"

"Well, not exactly-" Reid began before Morgan cut him off.

"What he means is, possibly. We're not sure. Anyways, we have a whole new set of questions to ask if thats okay?"

"Of course" Jessica's mother replied.

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Meanwhile, Hotch and Rossi looked around Jessica's bedroom. It looked like it could belong to any aged girl, not just an eleven year old. It was oddly clean, side from the homework that lay scattered around the room.

"Where is all the pink, sparkly, fluffy stuff that little girls like?" Rossi asked as he looked around.

"... i don't know" Hotch replied. Most of the girls' bedrooms he had been in were plastered with pink, yet this room had barely any colour at all. The blankets on the bed were faded colours that looked like flowers, but they were so light, the whole blanket looked white. The bed frame was wooden, like most other objects. There was a lack of barbies or any other toys, the room was mostly filled with books.

"Kind of like a mini female Reid hu?" Rossi asked as he picked up a book.

"Thats what worries me," Hotch replied. "We've seen what happens when Reid identifies even slightly with the UnSub, not too excited to see how he feels when he was relate so much to the victim."

Rossi nodded in agreement and he opened what looked to be a closet door. "Well look what I found here"

Hotch walked over, it was indeed a closet. Although small, it held a great many items. Pink princess dresses and other halloween costumes, toys pulled on the floor, board games above, sparkless were coated on top of everything. "Looks like a fairy threw up in here" Rossi muttered.

Hotch grabbed a dress and took it out. On first glance it looked pretty, like something any little girl would have. But on close inspection, Hotch noticed rips all along one side. Somebody had destroyed it, most likely Jessica.

Hotch put the dress on Jessica's bed and went back to digging through the closet. "Its as if she was locking away all of her childhood... oh great, found the stuffed animals" A huge pile of stuff, all in bright colours were piled in the closet as well. Among them was a barbie doll, Hotch raised his eyebrows as he lifted the toy from the pile. "Look what I found"

Rossi turned to face him a book in his hand. The Barbie was destroyed. The clothing was ripped much like the dress. The doll's hair was cut short and melted as if somebody had tried to burn it. Blank ink was scribbled all around the dolls face.

"Wow, that fits in with this," Rossi said as he held up the book in his hand, the word Diary was printed across it in sparkly letters. "Read any entry." Rossi handed Hotch the diary.

Hotch opened the book to a random page and read. It was a descriptive entry about a man who came to her in the night. He stopped reading.

"Sexual abuse" he told Rossi, who in turn nodded. "Not a parent, probably a family friend."

"What do we do now?" Rossi asked.

"Grab Reid and Morgan, then give a profile."

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Prentiss and JJ sat in chairs as they looked over files. "We're running out of time" JJ said in an anxious tone of voice.

Prentiss raised her eyebrows, "Maybe, maybe not" she told JJ as she ran her finger down the page she had been reading.

"What is it?" JJ asked, her voice full of stress. It was no secret that child cases bothered her, after all, she was a mother.

"Look at this" Prentiss said as she stood up. A city-wide map had been put up. She grabbed a marker and circled four places. Three were of buildings, and the last was the side of a street. "The first three girls were taken from these three libraries" she said as she pointed the the circled buildings. "At these libraries there are reading activities, including reading help. The first three were all behind in school and had trouble with reading. Their parents confirmed that they were at the library reading help when their daughters went missing."

JJ began to catch on. "Thats why the kidnappings were so random. Each library was the UnSubs comfort zone, not the community around it."

Prentiss smiled "Yup. Also, these actives are run by volunteers, I bet our UnSub volunteers at these places. Only issue is they don't always keep a record."

"Well, we can go ask around, find out who was there on all three nights a girl went missing," JJ said, Prentiss sighed.

"Only one flaw in our theory, Jessica."

JJ sighed too, knowing that her friend was right. Jessica threw the whole idea of balance.

Suddenly. Prentiss had an idea "Jessica has totally different victimology too. So either this UnSub is getting a hell of a lot bolder in a short period of time, there is a secondary stresser, or this is a different UnSub."

JJ nodded in agreement, "But that isn't good either. Don't most kids die like an hour after they're taken? If this is a different UnSub, then isn't there a high chance that Jessica is dead?"

Prentiss gave a solemn nod. "And she has already been missing for four hours or more." She sighed, "but come on, lets call Garcia and see if maybe these libraries took down the names of their volunteers, she can cross reference. Maybe we're wrong."

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**Thanks for reading. It means a lot. Please Review, i love reviews, follow and favorite. I'll update soon, or whenever I feel like writing. Just a warning, next chapter sh*t gets real. Here are some lines to maybe make you look forward to it;**

**"You mean another child is missing!"**

**"So what, we're just going to stop looking for Jessica and focus on this new case! Cant the normal police handle that, we've already given them leds in those three girls"**

**"Reid, that is enough. What has been with you? lately?"**

**Well there, see you next update!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again, here is yet another... horrible, chapter. I do enjoy writing this story, although I dont think its very good.**

**Anyways****, hope you enjoy this chapter, I tried to make it good. Enjoy?**

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The whole team had just arrived at the police station.

"Do we have enough for a profile?" Hotch asked his team, he received nods in return.

"But for which UnSub?" Prentiss asked.

"Both" Hotch replied. But before they could leave the room, an officer practically jetted into the room.

"Another girl is missing" He told the team of profilers. "Twenty minutes ago."

"You mean another girl is missing!" Reid shouted as he stood up. Everyone in the room glared at him before he went silent.

"Did they find a body?" Morgan asked, clearly referring to Jessica.

"No," the Officer replied. "We have been looking, but we haven't found Jessica Andrews yet." A sigh of relief seemed to be let out in the room, only, Reid face still held tension.

"Okay, so what's this girl all about then?" Morgan asked. The officer held out a photo of a blonde haired, blue eyed girl.

"That is nine year old Alyssa Tate. She was taken from the northwest library about an hour ago" the officer told them. "Do you think that Jessica is dead?"

Hotch sighed, "We have to face that it might be a possibility, but this is a different UnSub." He tried to explain. The officer just looked confused. "We'll explain, gather your mean please. We have a profile."

The officer nodded, turned, and left.

Morgan was the first to notice Reid's stress. Walking towards the younger profiler, he made sure the rest of the team couldn't hear him. "You okay pretty boy? You have really seemed off lately, and I know its more then the case."

Reid looked at his friend for a moment before sighing, "Just worried that we'll give up on Jessica to find this new girl" he attempted. Which surprised Morgan, normally Reid wouldn't say things like that, he hid away most of his emotions.

"Reid, we won't give up," Morgan told him, "you should know that. But this new missing girl takes first priority. We have a lot of information about this UnSub. We'll track him down and then keep searching for Jessica."

"But we shouldn't have to do that!" Reid yelled in a sudden uproar.

"Reid, I'm sorry, I know that you can identify with this girl, but we have no other choice" Hotch said. Prentiss and JJ just backed up and walked out of the room.

"No other choice?!" Reid spat the words through his teeth. "So what, we're just going to stop looking for Jessica and focus on this new case! Can't the normal police handle that? We've already given them leads in those three girls"

"Like what Reid? What leads?" Rossi asked, also in an angry tone. Suddenly, Reid felt much trapped.

"Like-Like I don't know!" he stuttered, "The library thing, the guy must volunteer there!"

"Garcia cross checked all the names, nobody volunteers at all three, and now there is a fourth" Morgan told his friends as calmly as he could manage. The whole thing was just piling up and happening so fast. One minute Reid would be upset and distracted, the next he was about rip somebody's head off, and for no reason.

"Well, not everyone keeps track of volunteers! Garcia said it herself!" Reid shouted again.

Morgan sighed and turned to Rossi and Hotch, "Go join JJ and Prentiss, give the profile" he turned back to Reid. "You're coming with my, Pretty Boy."

The men filed out of the room, as Morgan dragged Reid behind him. JJ shot him a worried glance as they left the building, she followed. The media would be there soon to hear the profile.

Morgan dragged Reid out the front door and behind the police station, that way they would be out of sight and earshot of the press.

"What has been with you lately man?" Morgan asked at last.

"What do you mean?" Reid replied too quickly. He really was a back liar, and worse at playing the 'Clueless Game.'

"Oh don't pretend you don't know. You haven't been sleeping at all, we all know it. You're tired, you rarely eat. You have lost weight, which is saying something; also, you seem to always be in pain, a back ache, stomach ache, something like that. When was the last time you picked up a book? Or did something you enjoyed? Not even mentioning how irritable you have been for the last few weeks. Can you even concentrate at all anymore? You've been hostile and angry all the time, if you're not talk about suicide statistics, what even was that?!" Morgan raised his voice as he watched Reid, hoping for the truth in his answer.

"Nothing is wrong" Reid replied as he looked away from his friend. There was no way he could look at Morgan as he lied through his teeth. Especially when Morgan knew he was lying.

Without even thinking, Morgan turned and punch a wall. He let all of his frustration and anger out in one hit. "Fuck" he swore as he shook out his hand before turning back to Reid. "You need to tell me what is actually going on, or I will talk to Hotch and you will be removed from the field faster than you can blink. And then who would look for Jessica?"

Reid sighed loudly, "I don't know" he replied honestly for the first time in weeks. "I've just been so upset lately, with nothing to explain it."

Morgan nodded, "What about those facts, about... suicide" He found it harder to say the word when Reid was normal again.

"Don't ask me, it was the first thing that came to my mind" Reid knew he had to lie about that one, there was no way he could ever admit that he thought about killing himself. Lucky, Morgan believed him.

"If you need anybody to talk to, I'm here for you" Morgan told his friend in a gentle tone. "Now why don't you go back to the hotel? You really do seem tired and the team can handle without you for a couple hours."

Reid nodded and walked towards the black SUVs. Morgan returned to the building. There was no way Reid was going to go to the hotel.

Reid knocked on the door of the Andrews' home. The street was empty and the sun had started to go down.

It was Jessica's sister, Kirsten, who answered the door.

"Hi" Reid said calmly with a warm smile on his face, "your mom or dad home?"

The thirteen year old nodded and called back for her parents. Within a moment, they were at the door.

"Has something happened?" the father asked in a frantic tone. His arm automatically wrapped around his wife's waist. It looked like neither of them had done anything besides worry, even though their daughter hadn't even been missing for a day yet.

"No" Reid replied, "But I'd like to ask you a few more questions, it might help to find Jessica." The Andrews nodded and allowed Reid into their home. Kristen made a motion to go upstairs but her father stopped her.

"Can she stay?" the mother asked.

"Of course, it might even be helpful" Reid told them. The three nodded and sat down. As Reid moved to sit across from them, he debated on telling them about Jessica being sexually abused, and decided against it. _Rossi and Hotch didn't tell them, which means they don't need to know._ "Now, if you don't mind me asking, has there ever been any male adult that paid... special attention, to Jessica? A family friend maybe?"

The Andrews looked at each other, "I don't know if I like what you're implying didn't you accuse us of hiding something?" The father asked.

Reid nodded, "I'm sorry, these are routine questions, and I only asked to see what kind of reaction I would receive, which helped me to determine that neither you nor your family had anything to do with this." Reid couldn't help but smile at himself. Normally, he sucked at coming up with excuses like that.

"No, no adult males" The mother replied. Kirsten suddenly looked very uncomfortable.

"What is it Kristen, do you know something that your parents don't?" Reid asked the thirteen year old. She shrugged in response.

"Sweetie, is there something? If it could help find Jessica, then tell the agent" Mrs. Andrews told her daughter in a strained tone. She was on the verge of losing her cool.

"No- it's just..." Kristen trailed off, as if she wasn't sure what to say.

"You can tell him" Mr. Andrews told her. "We won't be angry if you know something, but we need to get your sister back."

"I do know of one adult that liked Jess a lot more than he liked me or any other kids" Kristen told Reid. Three looks of encouragement shot in the teen's direction. "Freddy Pellish..."

The parents froze. "He had nothing to do with this" The mother spat first. "Why would you say such a stupid thing? Go to your room!"

Kristen ran upstairs before Reid could say a word, suddenly; it was just the three adults in one room. "Who is Freddy Pellish?" Reid asked calmly, although his heart was for some reason racing.

"A family friend" The father replied, "He is Sylvia's ex-boyfriend from high school. They have been friends for years. There is no way he could have done something like this."

Reid sighed; it was a normal parental reaction upon hearing that it was somebody close that knew the child. "99% of kidnappings are committed by family members and friends. Did Freddy spend a lot of time with Jessica?"

The couple nodded. "He babysat the girls a lot, but that doesn't make him guilty, it doesn't mean he kidnapped Jessica, He viewed her like his own child!" Mrs. Andrews yelled as she stood up.

"I'm sorry" Reid replied, "but we cannot rule out anything just yet."

"I need to leave now" The mother replied as she walked out of the room, her husband followed. Reid stood up to leave.

Once at the door, he put his shoes on. A voice caught him off guard.

"He hurt her" Kristen said, causing Reid to jump. He turned to face the thirteen year old. "He would go to her in the night when our parents were gone. He did it to me too, but I grew too old. My parents like him, so they wouldn't believe me if I told them... Will you find her?"

Reid let a false smile appeared on his face, "Yes I will, I promise my life on it." Kristen nodded and disappeared upstairs once again. Reid walked into the cool night and moved to his SUV. The pink cherry blossoms surrounded him in a world of colour. For once in weeks, he felt at peace.

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**There, done this chapter. Sorry if it sucks, just go with it. So Reid ditched his team after flipping everything he had. Well then Reid, well then. So, we should be getting to the actual good part pretty soon, because this has been honestly kind of boring, oh well. I have no idea what next chapter is going to be, so I cant leave any lines. Just pretend that I did. So, review (please) Favorite, follow. If you have gotten this far but haven't dont those three things, do it please. Thanks, until next thing, bye... P.S: Colour is not spelled wrong, I dont care what word says, its correct. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello once again. So apparently my writing doesn't suck. So I take that back from last chapter. Hope you enjoy this has Morgan and Reid friend stuff. Not Slash, but if you ship them, whatever. So yeah, it had the team figuring out whats wrong with Reid. Along with Morgan and Reid talking. **

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Morgan sat staring blankly at the team's board. Pictures of the now five missing girls were plastered over it. It appeared that the team was working two cases at once, looking for two missing girls. They had given the profile and officers were out at every library in the city, Jessica was just being ignored at that point.

"Where's Reid?" JJ asked, causing Morgan to jump.

"Uh-Hotel I think," Morgan replied, although he knew that Reid wouldn't have gone there.

"Why is he at the hotel? Shouldn't we be looking for those girls?" She asked him.

Morgan sighed loudly, "He needs some time, and besides, it's not like we have anything to do anyways. Our job is finished for the moment. Until we get any new leads."

Suddenly, Prentiss, Rossi, and Hotch walked into the room. Closing the door behind them, Hotch turned to his team.

"Morgan, did you talk to Reid?" he asked. Morgan nodded.

"Yeah," he said, "but I didn't really get much out of him. I told him to go back to the hotel, but I doubt he actually went there." Everyone in the room nodded, they all knew this was coming. Get a group of profilers in a room when something is their friend; they're guaranteed to profile him. Morgan continued with the information he had gotten out of Reid. "He said he's been upset lately yet he doesn't know why, but when I asked him about those statics he spat out this morning, he said it was the first thing that came to his mind."

Prentiss rolled her eyes, "He's lying to us, isn't he?" Everyone nodded. "What could be up with him?"

Rossi answered next, "Well, what do we know, what changes has he shown?"

"Fatigue but not sleeping" JJ said.

"Not eating and lose of weight" Prentiss chimed in.

"He seems to always be in pain, stomach ache, back ache, head ache, extra" Morgan added.

Rossi was next to speak, "I haven't seen him read or do anything that he likes to do in the last couple weeks."

Hotch nodded in agreement, "And it's easy to tell he's been having trouble focusing. He didn't even finish the paperwork this morning, and he is always the first done. "

"He has also been really irritable, hostile and angry" JJ muttered.

"So what?" Morgan began, "when he isn't silent and upset, he is plotting murder?"

Another sigh escaped Hotch, "Some of these are telltale signs of drug use."

Prentiss, JJ and Morgan all glared at Hotch as the room fell silent. Rossi had to agree with Hotch, some of them were signs.

At last, Morgan spoke. "You cannot be serious Hotch. You think he is using again?"

"I didn't say that" Hotch corrected, "I said they are signs of it. That doesn't mean that he is."

"So what do we do?" Prentiss asked, "It's not like we can just go up and ask him if he is using. He'll get defensive and upset, hell I would too."

"I have an idea" Morgan said with triumph. Everyone looked at him, "We call Garcia. See if there is anything else that these symptoms could be." Everyone nodded, knowing that was the best idea. Morgan took out his phone and called Garcia.

"You've reached the goddess of technology, how can I be of service?" Garcia asked in her usual, sparkly tone.

"Hey baby girl. I've got everyone here but Reid, and we need a favor" Morgan told her calmly.

"Sure, what can I do for you my prince?" Garcia replied. Morgan couldn't help but smile, Garcia could make the worst days the best.

"I'm going to email you a list of symptoms; can you tell me what they could mean?" He asked. There was a pause before Garcia spoke.

"This is about Reid isn't it?" she asked, slightly worried. If Reid was bad enough that the team was looking into him, there was something really wrong.

"Yes baby girl, it is" Morgan told her, "Can you do it? I already sent it"

"Yeah, okay" She told him, "I'll call you when I get something." With that, she hung up.

"What now?" JJ asked. "There has been no news on anyone fitting the profile."

Hotch looked around the room, "We sleep" he replied before leaving the room. "They'll call us if they get something, head to the hotel."

Cutting off anyone's reply, was Morgan's ringing cell phone. Checking the caller I.D, he smiled. "Hotch, its Garcia!" Within a moment, the man was back in the room and the door was closed once again. Morgan answered the ringing device, "Hey baby girl, what do you have?"

"Depression" she replied quickly. The room went silent.

After a moment, Rossi spoke, "What?"

Garcia took a deep breath, "all of the things you listed are signs of an extreme case of depression, along with some things that we wouldn't notice. Low self esteem, feeling worthless, anxiety attacks, stress, and loss of sex drive, but I don't think Reid has a sex drive to start. Anyways, along with all that, there is substance abuse and self harm. Although I don't think those last two apply to Reid. He'd be more careful than that." Finally Garcia finished and gasped for fresh air, she had said that all without stopping. The room went silent, nobody knew what to say.

"Any idea what could have triggered it if this is what's wrong with him?" Morgan asked, knowing that nobody else could speak.

"Every source I've looked at says that, death of a loved one, loss of a job and other traumatic events can cause it, a lot like the stressor for a killer." Garcia told them, "But none of that fits Reid, I even double checked. So, the only other possibility is it just happened."

"Garcia, you know I always believe you, but how can something like depression 'just happen'?" Morgan asked his Baby Girl.

Garcia took a deep breath as she prepared to spit out more information. "It says that depression is an unbalanced amount of chemicals in somebody's brain or something. So it can just happen, it can develop over time with no cause. But certain things can make it worse as time goes on. One is not getting help, which Reid hasn't done. And not getting help can lead to things like what we saw this morning, suicidal thoughts."

The room fell silent again, after a moment the door to the room opened, revealing an officer.

"Call you back Garcia, keep digging for info" Morgan told her before hanging up. Everyone's attention fell on the police officer. "What is it?"

The man opened his mouth to speak, "Somebody says they recognized the profile that you guys had us give out at the libraries."

"Got a name and address?" Hotch asked. The officer nodded.

"Joseph Retail" He told them BAU team.

"Grab your stuff and lets go," Hotch said before turning to Morgan, "and call Reid. We'll meet you there."

Morgan nodded as everyone left. Leaving him alone to call Reid, Morgan of all people knew not to talk to Reid just yet about his possible condition. Yet the idea of Reid having suicidal thoughts burned in his mind. Morgan pushed the thoughts away. Before taking out his cell phone once again and dialing Reid's phone number.

After a moment, Reid answered. "Hello?"

"Reid, its Morgan, we got a name and an address of the guy who took the three girls. Jessica will have to wait, but once we got this guy we'll get hers. Meet me there?" Morgan asked his friend.

"Yeah sure, text me the address" Reid replied, it was as if he had ignored the mention of Jessica's name.

"Already on it, see you there." With that Morgan hung up, messaged Reid the address, and walked out the door.

Reid sat back in the seat of the SUV, it was park in front of the Hotel, but he had yet to go in. For some unknown reason, a feeling of sadness washed over Reid. It took all of his effort to turn on the SUV and shift it into reverse. With sigh he drove to the address Morgan had sent him, thoughts swirling in his brain.

_Do they know about me yet? Why am I so snappy and upset all the time? I just want to know! We better find Jessica... At least we have a lead with the three missing girls, Jessica can come straight after and I can look into this 'Fredy Pellish.' That's a call for Garcia... What would the team do if I died?_

Suddenly, Reid noticed the red light in front of him. He slammed on the brakes and stopped just in time before letting go of a breath of air.

About ten minutes later, Reid arrived in front of the house; the SWAT team was also just arriving.

Reid grabbed his bulletproof vest and went to meet the team.

"Hey pretty boy, missed you" Morgan said with a smile. It was clear to Reid that something was up with the team, but he figured that he would find out eventually.

"Yeah, you too Morgan" Reid told him as he tried to act normal, but something was bugging him. Reid felt very anxious all of the sudden, like he could stop breath at any moment.

Reid stumbled back a little and almost fell, lucky Morgan caught his wrist. "You okay?" he asked, already knowing the lie Reid would tell.

"Yeah, just lost my footing is all," Reid told them with another false smile. Hotch sighed and prepared to say the empty words he and Morgan had said all along

"Want to sit this one out Reid?" Hotch asked. Morgan still held Reid's wrist as his eyes begged the boy to be honest. Yet everyone knew he wouldn't.

"No, I'm good" Reid replied as he tried to put a cap on his boiling anger, knowing that lashing out at his friends for no reason wouldn't help anything,. He just felt so hopeless and annoyed, he just wanted to know why they didn't care enough to notice he was in pain, but at the same time, he was thankful that he thought they hadn't noticed. "Like I said, I lost my footing."

"Okay then, lets head in," Morgan replied as he dropped Reid wrist.

Everyone moved in unison as they did the routine they had all become accustomed too. They snuck into the house to try and locate the child without the UnSub noticing.

The sound of opening door was accompanied with a whisper of "clear," but after a few moments, a voice rang out. Prentiss'.

"Got him!" She yelled; everyone ran towards her. Rossi moved towards a closet on the other end of the room. Opening the door, he revealed Alyssa. The missing blonde girl sat there. JJ ran towards her, she was the best with children.

"Come on sweetie, lets go outside" JJ told the girl, who in turn, nodded. The two left.

Hotch was the first to turn to Reid. "Now we find Jessica." Nobody dared say it, but there was a high chance that Jessica could already be dead. She had been missing for more than ten hours.

Reid nodded and left the room abruptly. He ran through the house until he broke into the cool, night air. For some reason he was having trouble breathing inside that house. Morgan followed him out, just in time to see Reid turn and throw up.

"You okay Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked and he rubbed his friends back before dragging him out of sight of the arriving media vans.

Reid nodded, and straightened his back. "Yeah, I just felt sick all of the sudden." organ raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Talk to me man, I'm here for you if something is bugging you. Hell, the whole damn team is. You can talk it us," Morgan told his friend in a pleading voice.

Reid took a deep breath; he wasn't sure what to say. "I... I just don't know, I guess I feel like I'm not important, like I don't matter to anyone" he told Morgan honestly.

"Reid, listen to me. You are important" Morgan told his friend as he kept what Garcia had said about depression in his minds. "You matter so much more than you realize. You aren't alone in this Reid. You are important to me any everyone else. I know you must feel alone, but you aren't. You're not going crazy, because I know you must feel that too. There is hope in this Reid. There is always hope, and everyone is here to help you. But we need to know what is wrong. And when this, whatever this is, is all over, we'll still be here. I know I can't really understand what you are feeling, but I'm sure as hell going to try. I'm not going to leave you, neither is anyone else here."

Reid turn to face away from Morgan, but he didn't say a word. It wouldn't take a profiler to know that Reid was crying.

"For the love of God Reid listen to me," Morgan told his friend. "I love you. You're like a brother to me. Everyone in this team is a family, and you're part of it. I'm so sorry that you are hurting Reid. But nobody can help you unless you ask; nobody can help you unless you speak up. Please Reid."

Reid lifted his hand to wipe away the tears that had formed. He cared about his team in a family sort of sense. Finally, Reid turned back to Morgan and nodded.

"Okay" He said, ignoring the puffiness of his eyes. "We'll find Jessica, and when we get back, I'll talk to you guys."

Morgan smiled jerked his head to one side. "Okay, let's go find Jessica Andrews then, some on." Reid followed and the two went to meet up with the rest of the team.

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**Oh loo, family bonding, and depression awareness in one chapter. By the way, I am NOT depressed, but my mom and sister are. Anyways, on a note you might actually care about; thanks for reading. The next chapter should be up today or tomorrow. Because I currently have no life, so I'm writing. Anyway, only like three or four more chapters left to go. Sorry, I know its short. Review, favorite, and follow. Ta-ta for now.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here is another chapter my wonderful fans, hope you enjoy this, it took me awhile to write it.**

**Read on!**

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The next morning, the BAU team sat staring once again at Jessica's picture.

"Fredy Pellish" Reid told them. "That's who Kristen said spent time around Jessica... She also said it was him that abused the two of them"

Morgan was first to respond, "So, what? We call Garcia and have her check this 'Fredy Pellish' out?"

"Yeah, I guess so" Reid replied.

Morgan took out his phone and once again dialed Garcia's phone number. The ringing lasted for a few moments before she answered.

"Why hello my prince. What can I do for you today?" Garcia asked; it was easy to know she was smiling, even throw the phone. "Heard that you caught the bad guy and saved the girl."

"Only one of them baby girl," Morgan told her as he smiled too. The memory of the team's triumph in saving that girl was still fresh. It kept them all motivated to find Jessica. "Can you look up everything you can on a man named 'Fredy Pellish' one D in Fredy?"

"Yeah sure, I'll call you back once I get something sugar" Garcia said before hanging up. She knew better than to ask about Reid, knowing he would have been in the room.

"Now we wait?" Prentiss asked her team. Everyone was a little anxious; it had been more than twenty-four hour since Jessica went missing. There was a high chance that she would be dead, especially considering the fact that the man that has her may be sexually and physically abusive.

JJ was next to speak, "Just got a message, media wants to talk to me and such about the girl we recovered and Jessica, still missing. The city wants to know that their children are safe."

"Go" Hotch told her sternly. It was important that the city knew the serial kidnapper was no longer a threat.

The room was silent as the remaining people turned their attention to Reid. He stared at the board, trying to figure out where Fredy Pellish would go; Reid had no doubt that it was him. But to the rest of the team, Reid just looked distracted.

A moment later, Garcia called back, drawing Reid's attention to the group.

"What did you find baby girl?" Morgan asked her through the phone before putting it on speaker.

"Well, I have stuff up until he turned twenty. Fredy Pellish has a very, VERY long criminal record, like wow. Petty theft, auto theft, assault charges, sexual assault charges, child pornography, you get the point. How could somebody let this man near their kids? Anyways, past that, I have nothing. This guy is off the grid. The last record I have of him is from a drunk driving charge. I can't even find anything on his parents or siblings, sorry" Garcia told him. Anyone's hope of finding Jessica was flushed down the drain. Suddenly, Reid sparked with anger.

"That's not good enough Garcia" Reid told her threw his teeth as he tried desperately to contain his growing anger.

"I'm sorry Reid, that's all I can get. I did my best..." Garcia trailed off, knowing that Reid was upset.

"Well do better!" He yelled. "We need to know where he is, a child will die if we don't find him now!" With that Reid reached over and hung up the phone, leaving the room silent once again.

"Reid, calm down" Morgan told him softly.

Reid shot a looked at Morgan before slamming his fist down on the wooden table, "I will not calm down!" he yelled again before storming out of the room in a full blown rage.

Once again, the room fell into an awkward silence. Nobody knew what to say about Reid's outburst. At least, Prentiss broke the silence. "I didn't know he could get angry like that," she told the team, who in turn nodded in agreement.

Morgan didn't say anything as he picked up his cell phone and called Garcia back. Keeping the phone to his ear, Morgan made sure that the team couldn't hear.

After a moment, Garcia answered. "I haven't found anything..." she trailed off as the sound of tears escaped her. Morgan felt a shot of anger bolt through him; nobody makes his baby girl cry.

"It's okay Garcia. If you can't find anything, its fine" Morgan told her gently before speaking again, "there is a really high chance that the girl is already dead anyways." Garcia sniffled in response.

"I just don't know what to do Morgan. About Reid I mean. Everything I have looked at says that Reid is probably suffering from extreme depression. Imagine how he would feel Morgan. Suffering. My poor junior G-man is suffering and there is nothing I can do to help him." Garcia cried as what Morgan guessed were new tears fell down her cheeks.

"Hey baby girl. It will be fine. We'll talk to Reid. We'll get him help and we'll figure this out. Everything is going to be fine, I promise," Morgan lied. He had no idea if Reid was going to be okay. The genius had seemed so different lately. Even Morgan's profiler skills were wasted on Reid.

"You think so?" Garcia asked, pulling Morgan back into reality.

"I know so" Morgan replied with a slight smirk, "Now I've got to go my neon coloured goddess."

"Okay, talk to you later my prince" Garcia replied before the line went dead. Morgan hung up his end of the phone and sighed. The whole team was watching him.

"Do you really think he will be okay?" JJ asked as she approached the other agent.

""Honestly JJ, I don't know" Morgan replied with a worried glance at the rest of the team. Everyone shared a similar expression.

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Reid pounded on the Andrews' front door; anger still fresh is his blood.

It was the father, Darren, who answered. "Dr. Reid is there any news about Jessica. Is there anything we can do to help you?" he asked as he ignored Reid's obvious rage.

"Yes, you can help me. Where does Fredy Pellish live? We can't seem to track him down" Reid told the man in front of him through his teeth. He knew that lashing out would do no good in the circumstance. Regardless, he could make no promises if the family didn't tell him what he needed to know.

"You don't really think that Fredy did this? Kristen is just a child, she is confused and worried about her sister," Darren told him. "Now I suggest you stop looking into something, or someone else rather than looking into somebody innocent."

At last, Reid had enough. He had been lashing out for the past day, but he had never let out the full range of his anger. "I am so sorry Mr. Andrews, but I was under the assumption that you wanted to find your daughter alive. If I was mistaken, please tell me now so that I can get the hell of this city and go home. My team and I, have been working non stop to try and find Jessica, she is eleven for gods sake! Eleven years old, a child! A little girl! Yes, she might be smart, she might be very smart, but that does not change the fact that she is a girl. She needs her family to protect her. I know how it feels to be smarter than everyone else, and I know how it feels to go to school every day and hate it because nobody will ever leave you alone, I know how to feels to be bullied every single day and too feel like it hopeless. Hell I feel hopeless every goddamn day, I bet she does too. It isn't her fault that she is smart; none of this is her fault. And you know what? You are your father, where is the need to find your little girl? Where is listening to your children when they say somebody is hurting them? Do you even know what kind of trauma sexual abuse causes on children?! They're going to need serious therapy, especially Jessica when I find her. And I swear the God that the kids you say you are protecting, your own children, will be taken away from you faster than you can blink. Unless you can prove to me right now that you love your children. Tell me where Fredy Pellish is, or Jessica he will kill Jessica, if he hadn't already. I can guarantee that."

The world around the two men grew oddly silent as Reid met the man's eyes. Normally, Reid was naturally a submissive person, but he had become so angry at everything, he had to let it out. Reid was angry at his team for not figuring out he needed help earlier, he was mad at himself for needing help. He was mad at Garcia for not finding Pellish, but he was also angry at himself for being angry at Garcia. Reid was angry that he was always upset all the time, and that he didn't know why. He wanted to have a reason for being so sad all the time, but there was none. He was mad at how useless he felt all the time, he was mad about being weak. He was mad that he couldn't help Jessica, after all, she was a lot like him. He was mad that this man, her father no less, wouldn't tell him to information that could save his daughter's life. He was mad about just being mad in the first place. Reid needed to feel happy again, and he was angry that for some unknown reason, he couldn't.

A breeze picked up and moved the trees, still blooming with blossoms. It wasn't until that moment that Reid realized Jessica's mother and sister had joined Darren at the door. They all now watched him, Kristen had a hopeful gleam in her eyes as she silently prayed her parent's would tell where Fredy lived.

"Tell him Darren" Sylvia told her husband. "He is right, we need to find Jessica. If he is wrong, than he is wrong. What harm could looking do? Just tell him."

Darren sighed loudly as he glanced at the cherry blossom tree in his front yard. "186 Merchant Way," he said at last. "He rents it under a different name so that he can have prostitutes over and do drugs without getting caught."

Reid nodded and grabbed his cell phone. Hitting an over used number on his speed dial, he called Hotch.

"Reid, where are you?!" Hotch sound over angry, it was then that Reid realized how angry he was when he left. A sudden wave of self hatred washed over the young genius, he wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry like a child. There was no way he was going to tell anyone that though, he had told enough about himself during his rant to Darren Andrews.

"Not important, what is important is the fact I got us an address," Reid told his boss with false enthusiasm. "Fredy Pellish lives at 186 Merchant Way. He used an alias."

Hotch was silent for a moment before his voice was heard in the background.

"Come on guys, Reid's got an address for us" Hotch said, his voice was muffled as if he was far away from the phone.

"How?" that was Prentiss.

"Do not want to know" Morgan said, "now lets go."

After another moment, Hotch picked up the phone again. "Meet you there in ten minutes, swat is on their way. We're going to storm that place."

"See you there" Reid said, again faking emotions. He had suddenly lost all motivation, although he still wanted that girl back alive.

The phone disconnected and Reid got into his car. The calm feeling that the cherry blossoms gave him still lingered. A small hint of hope filled him, they were going to get Jessica back alive, Fredy Pellish will go to jail for a very long time, and Reid will go home. He knew that he'd have to talk to his team about what had been happening, but for some reason, it didn't bug him. He knew that he needed help, and then maybe he would stop feeling so angry and worthless all the time.

"I'm coming Jessica" Reid whispered as he pulled away from the house.

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**Yay! They're going to get Jessica! Anyone who knows my writing will know how this will end. But I'm going to ask you anyways, review and let me know if you think they will catch Fredy Pellish and save Jessica! Review, favorite and follow! Until next time.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, soory it took me so long to write this chapter, I just wasn't feeling it. Also, sorry that it is so short, I tried to make it longer, but failed. Read and enjoy?**

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Thoughts swirled through Morgan's mind as people assembled a block away from Fredy Pellish's possible location. Morgan had to admit, he didn't necessarily trust Reid or his profiling skills at that exact moment in time after all, the boy genius was trying to deal with stuff. There was a chance that they were totally wrong and that Fredy Pellish was just another creep. Moreover, there was an overly high chance that if this guy was their UnSub, Jessica would already be dead. It scared Morgan to think about how Reid would react if they couldn't save the girl, he had become so attached to her, he identified with her. Regardless, Morgan's job was clear, get the UnSub, and save the girl if at all possible, do whatever it takes.

Morgan called the team over, and within a moment they all stood in front of him. "Guys, I think that we should let Reid find Jessica, he needs to be the hero."

Hotch nodded but had something to add. "This could backfire though Morgan. If Jessica is dead, Reid won't take it well."

Morgan nodded, "I know. But it probably won't matter. If she is dead, it will push him over the edge no matter what."

Everyone nodded in agreement before turning to wait for Reid. Morgan had a nagging feeling that is wasn't going to turn out well.

Reid pulled up just as the SWAT team arrived at the house. His team stood waiting for him on the street. The house was gray and sat in the lower income part of the city. One of the windows was broken and the place looked abandoned.

Slowly, with a sigh Reid got out of the car and joined his team.

"Reid, we need to know a few things. First, what should we expect going in there?" Morgan asked as soon as Reid stood in front of them.

Reid sighed for a second time in impatiens, but he knew that his team needed to know what they were up against. "Fredy Pellish is a close family friend to the Andrews, as Garcia told us, he had a record with child sex crimes. He has this address under an alias so that he can do drugs and have prostitutes over," he told them.

"Why would somebody let this guy near their children?" JJ asked in a shocked tone. She could never imagine letting somebody like that near her own son.

"No clue," Reid replied, "but my best guess is they were friends in high school. The parents trusted him. I also think that Jessica's dad, Darren Andrews, has probably spent a lot of time here too."

Everyone nodded in agreement as they moved into position. Hotch couldn't help but think about the parents. They would definitely have to call child services for that other girl. The parents had held out so long on important information that could save their child's life. They hadn't told because they would be criminally charged if anyone found evidence tying them to any illegal activities in that house.

Together, the Team and the SWAT team moved in on the small house. Morgan opened the door and quietly snuck in, followed by everyone else. The team allowed Reid to move a ways ahead of them as they double checked rooms and closets for things Reid may have missed.

About a minute after entering the house, Reid came across a door at the end of one hallway.

Reid opened the door revealing a small gray room. A brunette man stood with a bloody knife, towering over the unmoving body of a little girl soaked in her own blood. Her light blue dress was lifted up her legs a little and stained with the fresh marks of crimson. Reid held his gun up and aimed for Fredy's head. Suddenly reflex took over and without thinking, Reid called out for help.

"We need a medic in here" he shouted before turning back to Pellish. "Drop the knife!"

Freddy Pellish dropped the knife calmly but didn't even bother moving, he knew that it was finished for him. He was never going to see the light of day again.

Reid made a movement towards Jessica, his gun still aimed at Fredy's head, one move and he'd shoot to kill the disarmed man. Reid knelt next to Jessica and dropped his gun to his side as felt for her pulse. The girl was still warm, although her pulse was non existent. If Reid had been there five minutes earlier, things could have been different. But Reid wasn't there and because of that; eleven year old Jessica Andrews was dead.

Reid didn't know what to say, shock filled him. He had hoped and prayed for this girl's safety, yet she was dead. He had failed to save her. He was worthless and stupid.

Footsteps could be heard as people ran through the house towards Reid, no doubt his team was freaking out about his called for a medic. Suddenly, Freddy Pellish spoke, "She wanted it you know" he told Reid with an overly big smile on his face, and then, man began to laugh. Without thinking, Reid pointed his gun at the laughing man's head once again. "You wouldn't dar-" Reid pulled the trigger, cutting off the man's last words.

Morgan was a room away from Reid and Pellish when he heard the gunshots ring through the air. He ran into the room, a moment later he was joined by the rest of the team. Reid held his gun in his hand; he was cradling the clearly lifeless, bloody body of Jessica Andrews. Fredy Pellish lay on the ground with a bullet hole in his head, blood poured into the floor, mixing with Jessica's.

Everyone stared in horror as they realized Pellish's only weapon was far out of reach. Prentiss was first to speak, "Reid! He was unarmed!" She practically screamed. Reid didn't ever seem to register that anyone else was in the room. He just sat on the floor, staring blankly at the bloody corpse of Jessica.

Nobody knew what to say, Reid had shot a man for no reason, which made him a killer, a murderer. It made him the very thing they would hunt down everyday.

Morgan spoke next, breaking the stifling silence before other officers would begin to enter the room. "Reid, I know what you are going through, we all do. Let us help you."

At last, Reid lost it. "You think you know what its like? You think any of you know what I'm going through? I can't look into a mirror because I hate everything that looks back. I can't think straight because I'm too damn upset all the time. I'm either on the verge of tears, or I'm pissed off. I feel worthless every single day, and don't you dare tell me I am not. I could have done anything with my life, but instead I wasted all of the time I had and for what? To let this innocent girl die? If I can't save her, what can I do? Nothing. I'm just so stupid and worthless, I can't do anything right. I can't talk to people, I never could. You don't know what its like to be hurt and lost and to not know what to do. You don't know what its like to be picked on as bad as I was in school because memories like that never go away. I have scars from kids at my damn school. I couldn't protect myself or other then and I sure as hell can't now. What use can I have when I'm always so upset? I have nothing to contribute to this world. I'm better off fucking dead."

With that the young genius got up, his clothing covered in blood, and ran from the room. Everyone was in too much shock to grab him as he pushed past Prentiss. Reid ran as tears flooded from his eyes. It was time to end it.

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**And the plot thickens. So there, climax is over. Now, what do you all think is going to happen from here on out? Let me know, I'm curious to what you think.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys. This is a longer chapter to hopefully make up for last chapter being super short. We also get to see more of Garcia because its Garcia, and she is amazing. I really like this chapter for some reason. Anywyas, yay, the team not knowing what to do about Reid! Always amazing. So here we go, read and hopeful enjoy.**

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The team stared in shock as Reid ran from the room. Surprisingly, Hotch was the first to move. Using his foot he kicked the knife closer to Pellish, to anyone who wasn't there, it would look like Reid acted in self defense.

"What are you doing Hotch?" Morgan asked, everybody else understood.

"What do you think Morgan? I am protecting Reid. He isn't in his right mind." Hotch replied, emotions clouding his judgment. "I'll fix this mess, the rest of you, for the love of god find Reid before he does something even more stupid than this, and that is an order."

Everyone nodded and left, understanding the urgency of the situation. Morgan lingered a bit longer as he thought about what they had just been ordered to do. He had just been told to ignore a murder, given Reid wasn't in his right mind, but still. With a sigh, Morgan shook his head; they could deal with the backlash of that later. They had to find Reid.

* * *

The team sat around the table at the police department, none of them ever thought that profiling Reid would be so hard.

"Come on guys, think, we know Reid. Where would he go?" Morgan asked as he tried to comprehend that Reid had murdered somebody.

"I don't know!" JJ yelled in frustration, "A library?! A book store?!" She leaned back as she attempted to hold back the tears which threatened to flow from her eyes. Reid had pretty much told them that he was going to kill himself.

Prentiss spoke next after she slammed her head into the table. "No, I don't think he'd go there. He is in emotional distress."

"Treat him like an UnSub" Rossi added in. Profiling a friend is hard, but profiling a murdering UnSub? That's easy, it is what they do everyday.

"So what, we dig into his personal life?" Prentiss asked with her head still resting on the table. "We can't do that to him."

"She's right," JJ added in, "Reid wouldn't want us too. We'll find him some other way."

At last, Morgan snapped. "What other way JJ?! He _killed_ a man. What do we do when somebody kills someone? We hunt them; we rip apart their lives and profile them."

"It still doesn't feel right!" JJ screamed as tear began to fall. "It just doesn't, we'll find him another way, _any_ other way."

"JJ, Prentiss," Rossi began, they both looked at him. "You're both right, we definitely can find him another way, many other ways perhaps." Morgan looked like he was about to punch somebody. "But- the real question is; do you want us to find him dead, or alive? Because this is the only way to find him living-"

Rossi was cut off by Hotch entering the room. Everyone stared at him intently. "Good news... Kind of" he told them. More stares followed. Hotch sighed, "we found a second knife on him. It looked like he was about to draw it when Reid shot. That means that he may not have shot him in cold blood. It could have been self defense." Tension in the room seemed to lift like a blanket. Everyone suddenly found it much easier to breath. "Where are we on finding Reid?"

"We're debating," Rossi told his friend and boss. "Half of us want to treat Reid like an UnSub; we can profile him and figure out where he would go that way. But the other half thinks that we should find another way."

Morgan cut in next, feeling better about knowing Reid may not be a murderer. "But every other way is far too slow, hell we'd need Reid to figure most of them out. Profiling is our best bet."

Hotch nodded, "He's right, JJ, Prentiss, I'm sorry. This is the only way to find Reid." Turning back to Morgan, Hotch asked, "Did you tell Garcia? We're going to need her and she has a right to know."

"On it" Morgan replied as he took his cell phone from his pocket and hit Garcia's number on speed dial.

One ring, two, three. "Why hello my god of-" Garcia began before Morgan cut her off.

"Sorry Garcia, no time. The girl was dead when we got there, Reid snapped, may have shot somebody in cold blood. And then he told us that he is better off dead. And you're on speaker."

Garcia was silent for a moment. At last she spoke, "What can I do?" it didn't take a profile to know she was crying.

Hotch was the one to order Garcia, they wouldn't have time to argue. "Garcia, I know this will be hard, but it's this or Reid dies. Treat Reid like an UnSub; pull everything that could help us track him down. Find any cases we may have worked here, places he may feel safe. Find anything. We need to track him. I understand that this is hard considering the circumstances and I know this is an invasion of his privacy. Regardless, if you don't do this, Reid will kill himself. I think everyone in this room knows what he is capable of."

"I'll call you when I have something. I'll also get Kevin Lynch take photo's of everything in, on and around Reid's desk and I'll send them to you." Without a response, Garcia hung up and sent her fingers to typing and calling her boyfriend.

"What do we do in the meantime?" Prentiss asked, "I mean we can handle just sit here and do nothing."

"You right" Hotch replied. "Morgan, take JJ and go to Reid hotel room, look for anything that could tell where he is going." Turning to Rossi, he spoke, "Rossi, go look through anything Reid has written on here, look to see if there are any language clues. I know Reid is better at it, but try. Prentiss find a map, circle any place Reid has been to during this trip, when Garcia gets back to us about cases and places he's been on those, circle them too."

"Where are you going?" Morgan asked his boss and Hotch grabbed his jacket.

"I'm going to visit the Andrews' house" He replied. "They better have a damn good reason for withholding information concerning their missing daughter. I also might just call child services to take care of the older girl too."

* * *

Garcia typed as fast as her fingered could move as she searched through Reid's life. Normally she hated doing things like that, but in that circumstance she knew the urgency. Kevin had come for instruction and one to take photos. Garcia told him not to move anything, take as many pictures as would be needed to get every detail. She also told him not to move anything until he had taken all the photos he could, she mention that he should ever open drawers and take photos of anything that is in them. Garbage on the floor was also important, and garbage in the can nearest Reid's desk. He had run off to do her bidding.

Garcia looked at almost every case file that Reid had done, she narrowed down on the ones in the nation's capital. Not all that many. Garcia then sent everything to Prentiss, as she had been directed to do over text by Hotch. She happily complied. Garcia also took the liberty of going through Reid's personal life and childhood, looking for anything that may connect him to anywhere in WashingtonD.C. At last she sat back, nothing.

Suddenly, Garcia got an idea. Taking out her phone she shot a text to Hotch.

**Garcia: Can I call Reid's mom? I'll just ask her about Washington, I won't say anything about this.**

A minute passed, and then two, and then three. Finally, Hotch replied.

**Hotch: Don't let anyone know what is going on, be fast.**

Without thinking Garcia looked up the number and called.

The other line picked up, but Garcia gave no time for the person to even say hello.

"Hi this is Penelope Garcia from the F.B.I. Is Diana Reid available to speak for a moment?" Garcia asked in one big rush before adding, "It's urgent"

"Please hold" A woman on the other line replied. Without waiting for Garcia, she put her on hold. After a moment, somebody answered.

"Hello?" Garcia recognized Reid's mother's voice and prayed that she was having a good day.

"Hello Mrs. Reid. I'm calling from the F.B.I. I am a friend of your son and I would just like to know if there is someplace he would feel happy going to in Washington D.C" Garcia asked to woman.

"Something has happened, a mother knows," Diana replied. Garcia sucked in a breath.

"I can't say. Reid-Spencer will have to tell you later, can you answer my question?" Garcia asked in a hopeful tone.

"He had written me about wanting to go to the Cherry Blossom festival if that helps?" she replied.

"Yes it does, now I really must go, I understand that you are worried, but I assure you everything is fine," Garcia couldn't help but to wait for a response, she felt bad enough for telling her that everything was going to be okay, because it may not.

"I understand, have Spencer call me as soon as he can."

Garcia nodded before realizing she couldn't be seen. "Will do." with that Garcia ended the connection. Kevin walked into the room just after.

"Got the photos" he told her.

Garcia nodded. "Upload them as I text my boss."

* * *

Morgan and JJ stood in Reid's room. Nobody had really been in it but housekeeping. With two missing kids, the team had done anything but sleep. The room was clean, sheets lay perfectly on the bed. The walls were cream and a large window took up one wall, giving a beautiful view of a garden. Within the room, it was simple. One dresser and a closet, a T.V set was on top of the dresser. A mini fridge was next to the bathroom door. All-in-all, it was a nice room.

"See anything?" Morgan asked JJ and he dug through Reid's suitcase. His clothing was folding and placed in it in an almost compulsive fashion. Morgan hadn't realized how much of a neat freak Reid really was.

"Nope, nothing" JJ replied as she looked through a stack of books that Reid had brought. She didn't recognize any of them, but Reid never read common books. He didn't even know what _Twilight_ was.

They had searched the room from top to bottom, there was nothing. Reid had left no clues in that room to tell where he was going.

"Let's head back." Morgan told her. "I think we can do more good that way."

JJ nodded and the two left the room as they pretended that they weren't freaking out.

* * *

Hotch knocked loudly on the Andrews' door, rage filling him. He knew that he needed to blame somebody-anybody, and that going to the Andrews; house wasn't a good idea, but he needed too.

Feeling his phone vibrate, Hotch found a text from Garcia.

**Garcia: Can I call Reid's mom? I'll just ask her about Washington, I won't say anything about this.**

He waited for a moment as he tried to figure out what to say. It was important that they find Reid, but that whole thing could back fire. With a sigh, he replied.

**Hotch: Don't let anyone know what is going on, be fast.**

It was the teenage girl, Kristen that answered. Her eyes were puffy and red, no doubt from tears following the news that her sister was dead.

"Mom! Dad!" She called as soon as she saw Hotch. "F.B.I guy is here!" With that she ran upstairs, a moment later a Kristen's door slammed closed.

Hotch waited outside until Sylvia, the girls' mother, came up. "Agent Hotchner I believe. Please come in," she told him with a false smile. Her eyes were also red and puffy. Her husband, Darren, joined her a moment later.

"Thank you," Hotch told them between his teeth as he stepped inside the house. "My condolences about your daughter."

They nodded. "What can we help you with?" Sylvia asked as she tried to blink away tears. Her husband didn't seem to even care.

Hotch blinked himself for a moment. What was he there for? After a moment of thinking, he knew. "Why wouldn't you tell us about Fredy Pellish?"

"What, now you're going to scold us?" Darren asked aggressively. "We just lost our daughter."

"Yes, I am here to scold you" replied Hotch. "You let your daughter die, why is that? Were you scared or something?"

"Scared? Of what?!" Sylvia yelled. "Why would we be 'scared' of? Are you accusing us of something?"

Hotch rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not accusing you of anything. After all, that is Child Services' job. What I am doing to asking you why you let your daughter die?"

Darren looked like he was about to kill somebody. "We did not let Jessica die. You people did. You didn't find her; you didn't figure it out until it was too late. You killed my best friend! Fredy was both of our best friend!" He yelled. Hotch couldn't help but laugh at how stupid the parents were acting.

"So what?" the agent spat. "He got tired of sleeping with your wife so he decided your eleven year old daughter was the next best thing?"

"No!" both parents shouted in unison.

"Why are you defending the man that killed your daughter then?" Hotch asked impatiently.

"Because he is our best friend," Sylvia tried to reply calmly.

"He killed your daughter!" Hotch yelled in furry. "She trusted him and he abused that trust. He had been a convicted child predator, who would you let him near your daughters?!"

"That was just a misunderstanding" Darren said, still trying to defend his friend.

"Oh, so was the kidnapping, rape and murder of you eleven year old daughter a misunderstanding too?" Hotch asked as he tried to get his temper in check.

Darren's jaw clenched. "You need to leave now," he said at last.

Once again, Hotch started to laugh. "I should arrest you both you know, for keeping information away from us in this case." Both adults watched him intently, not sure if he really would arrest them. Hotch continued. "I should arrest you both for negligence and neglect causing the kidnapping and death of your daughter. That being said, I won't. Instead, I'm going to go and call child services. They will come and take your eldest Daughter, Kristen, away. And if you end up in court, I'll be there with the rest of my team testifying against you."

"Fine" Darren said. "Never wanted kids anyways."

With that Hotch left. It felt good to blow off some steam.

He checked his phone again and saw another message from Garcia.

**Garcia: Reid's mom was fine, she said he wanted to check out the Cherry Blossom festival which is this weeks. I also took photos of Reid desk. This is one of them.**

Hotch looked at the attached photo. It was a picture of one of the drawers in Reid's desk. A few photos of Cherry Blossom trees were scattered.

**Hotch: Call everyone back to the police department. **

After a moment, Garcia replied.

**Garcia: On it.**

* * *

Prentiss sat staring blankly at a map of Washington D.C while Rossi read over everything. There was no use. Reid had left no clue for either of them to figure out where he was going.

Suddenly the door opened, JJ and Morgan entered holding a magazine, followed by a very annoyed Hotch on his phone.

"I don't care if you are short staffed and I don't care of it takes paperwork," Hotch half yelled into his phone. "Go to that house and take away that kid, now!" He then put his phone away.

"What have you guys found" Rossi asked, ignoring Hotch's conversation.

Morgan held up the magazine for the team to see.

Hotch showed them the photo that Garcia had found.

"Why are Cherry Blossoms so important?" Prentiss asked. Nobody had an answer.

After a moment, Rossi guessed. "Sometimes, they can symbolize the end of a dark time. Other times they can represent life and how short it is. Why Reid likes is hard to tell."

Prentiss looked at the map she had of the city, then she grabbed the magazine out of Morgan's grasp.

"Today there is an event thing in a decent sized park," Prentiss told them. "Who wants to bet that's where Reid is?"

Nobody needed to reply. "Lets go" Hotch said, and the team started towards the door.

* * *

**Sorry about not getting to Reid in this chapter, but we did get to see Hotch lecturing parents and Garcia being epic. Next chapter will be... , review, follow, favorite if you haven't already. I really do love reviews. Start telling me now, do you think Reid is going to manage to kill himself, or will his team save him? More importantly, what do _you_ want to happen, how should this story end? Let me know!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Yay, another chapter. Sorry, this one is short too, but I swear next chapter will be really long, and it will explain everything that is confusing in this chapter. Soo go ahead and read on (please don't hate me)**

* * *

Garcia sat staring at the photos of Reid desk and documents about his life. Somewhere in that mess was a clue to what had triggered Reid depression. Everywhere she looked said that it could just happen, but Garcia didn't believe it. There had to be a reason. Reid was a strong person, he had battled a drug addiction, there had to have been something that triggered it.

Flipping through photos, Garcia came across something. It looked like letters.

"Kevin?" Garcia called to the man sitting across the room from her. "You took the picture of these letters right?"

"Yeah," He replied, a little confused. "They were just put in there, so I thought I'd take a picture."

"Get them for me" Garcia told him in a demanding voice. She zoomed in on the return address of on of the letters. I looked like it was from a hospital in California.

Kevin re-entered the room with the letters and held them out to Garcia. Who, in turn, took them. She looked at all of the return addresses and confirmed that they all came from a hospital in California. She quickly ran the hospital against Reid's record, but nothing popped out. On closer inspection, Garcia realized that the letters were sent from the children's hospital in L.A, excluding one. After a quick count, Garcia realized that there we about twenty five letters there, all from the same return address. The earliest one dated almost a year before, the latest dated February 26th, twenty eight days earlier. The last letter was the only one sent from a different address than the Children's' Hospital, although it still came from California.

At last, curiosity consumed Garcia and she took out the last letter that was received. The side of the envelope was already ripped open, proving that Reid had already read the letter. The letter itself was handwritten and folded into thirds. When Garcia unfolded the letter, she noticed dried spots, which most likely came from tears. Whether they were Reid's, or the authors, Garcia didn't know. Along with the letter, there were baby photos. They all appeared to be at least a decade old. Regardless, every picture was of a bright and happy little girl. The photos seemed to map put the child's life up until the age of about ten, that's when they stopped.

Garcia's eye drifted to the top of the page:

_Dear Dr. Reid,_

_As much as I would hate to tell you this, I thought that you'd like to know. My daughter Sarah..._

The words Garcia read broke her heart. Looking at all of the letters, she realized who had sent them. Suddenly, Reid's whole depression made sense.

* * *

Morgan was first out of the SUV when it pulled up at the park. It was strangely empty, although most people were on the other side of the park. The rest of the team was entering at different parts. They were split up, if one of them were to find Reid, that person would call for the others. Pink blossom covered trees were all Morgan could see around him. It was truly beautiful out there.

Years if F.B.I training couldn't be kicked at a moment's notice, so Morgan carried his fully loaded gun in front of him. It was his fault that Reid was out here. If he had just gone with Reid to find Jessica, rather than letting him go alone, this never would have happened. Guilt was eating away at Morgan, he had to find Reid.

Suddenly, Morgan cell phone began to ring. Quickly checking it, he saw it was Garcia. He didn't have the heart to not answer it.

"Can't talk right now baby girl," He told her calmly as he moved through the trees.

"But Morgan, I found something of Reid's, I think it could-" She began, but Morgan cut her off.

"Tell me later okay? I really can't talk" Morgan told her.

"Oh-Okay, I guess I'll call you later then," Garcia replied before hanging up.

The line disconnected, Morgan kept looking. It must have been about five minutes before he noticed somebody standing under one of the Cherry Blossom Trees.

Sure enough, it was Reid. He held a gun in his hand as he stared at the falling pink flowers.

"I found him," Morgan called out to his team, although he knew it would take them at least five minutes to get to him. Turning his focus back to Reid. Morgan instinctively aimed his gun. "Reid?" he asked

Reid didn't respond for a moment, it was as if he was trying to process that somebody else was around him, let alone that he was being spoken too.

"Reid? Come on, put the gun down," Morgan urged his friend as he dared to take a step forward.

At last, Reid realized somebody was there. He looked at Morgan, but refused to meet his friend's gaze. "Aren't thy beautiful Morgan?" He asked in reference to the Cherry Blossoms.

"Yeah Reid, they are" Morgan told him in a calm voice, at least as calm as he could manage. "All the more reason not to die under them."

"You don't understand. None of you understand," Reid tried to explain. "You don't know anything. You think you know what is wrong with me but you don't. You think this is about Jessica, but it isn't." Reid moved his gun and held it to his head.

"Reid don't do this!" Morgan called to him in a pleading voice, his instincts still forcing him to aim his gun at Reid. "Come on dude, it doesn't have to be like this."

Reid stood still his gun still pointed at his own head. "It does Morgan. I couldn't save her, not Jessica, not Sarah."

Morgan stopped for a moment, _who the fuck was Sarah? _"Reid, we can figure this out! We can help you, please!"

Reid looked at Morgan with sorrow filled eyes. He looked tired and worn, dark circles proved that he hadn't slept in days. It broke Morgan's heart to see his friend like that. But it broke Reid's to still be alive. "It's too late for help,"

"Reid, no!" Morgan shouted once again.

"I'm sorry Morgan," Reid said.

A single shot rang through the air.

* * *

**Like I said, please don't hate me. I swear that I did listen to how you all and there will be another chapter. Whether or not I decided to kill Reid anyways or if I came up with a different way to get out of this mess, I will not say. Also, next chapter will be sad because you get to figure out who Sarah is. So follow, favorite and review. Love you all, and until next time.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, here is another chapter, and you get to figure out who Sarah is. Wonderful isn't it? Read on and enjoy.**

* * *

The team in the waiting room at a hospital, Garcia had yet to arrive. They had only been there for about a half hour.

JJ's normal bright, happy face was flushed and red from the minutes of constant crying. Her eyes were dry, but still brimming with tears and rimmed with red.

Prentiss had gone through more cups of coffee in that last thirty minutes than Reid normally did in a day, and that's saying something. She was shaking from the caffeine high that was bound to have a nasty crash later, but she didn't care.

Rossi was reading a magazine and trying to keep his emotions in check, although it was hard. Everyone once and awhile he let his true emotions slip, Rossi was scared.

Hotch had already had Morgan retell the story five times. Morgan was having trouble coming to terms with what had happened.

"Morgan, one more time, what happened?" Hotch tried to ask calmly, but between his worry and frustration, his patients was dissipating.

Morgan sighed loudly. "I found Reid; I tried to talk him down and failed. He held a gun to his head, his arms tensed and I knew he was going to pull the trigger. So I did instead, I shot him in the shoulder to keep him from killing himself. It worked, he dropped the gun and feel to the ground, I called for an ambulance, and then all of you showed up. After that I called Garcia and told her what happened, she started crying and said she was on her way."

Hotch sat back in his chair. "Okay, what about before that? Anything you noticed that Reid did or said that just didn't seem to fit the situation?" He asked.

Morgan thought for a moment, "Sarah" he told the team. Everyone looked at him.

"Who is Sarah?" JJ asked as she whipped her eyes with a tissue.

"No clue" Morgan began, "he just said that he couldn't save her of Jessica. But I have no clue who this 'Sarah' is."

"I think I can answer that," a familiar voice said from across the room. Everyone turned to see Garcia, her makeup had run down her face. It was clear that she had been crying too.

Rossi raised his eyebrows, "Do tell," he told her. Garcia nodded and sat down. She had a big bag on her arm, in which she took out a bunch of letters tied together with an elastic band.

"What are those?" Prentiss asked as she moved closer to Garcia. The whole team converged on her.

"Letters" replied Garcia as she removed the elastic. "Letter from a girl named Sarah to Reid, the earliest was sent a year ago."

"Letter?" Morgan asked. Garcia nodded. "He never told me about any letters."

JJ was the first to respond, "I don't think that he told any of us."

"So, who is Sarah?" Hotch asked, pulling the conversation back to the mystery girl.

Garcia looked at the letters in her hands. "There are roughly twenty five letters here. All of which, excluding one, were sent from the Children's Hospital in L.A." Everyone stared intently at her, curious to what was going on. "From what I can tell, Sarah first wrote to Reid about a year ago. She was twelve. A smart girl, a lot like Reid, and a lot like Jessica. She had cancer." Garcia explained as tear began to fall once again, within a moment, she could no longer speak. She handed a letter sent in April the year before.

* * *

_Dear Dr. Reid._

_My name is Sarah, and I am twelve years old. (I turn thirteen in two months) I have seen some of the work you do in profiling criminals and I think that it is really cool; I guess that I am kind of a fan of yours. You are such an inspiring person. I heard that you graduated high school when you were twelve, that's my age. My teachers told me that I could have skipped a lot of grades, like you. I could be in high school right now, or be graduating. Sadly I can't, I miss school a lot because I have medical problems. But I wish that I could be like you one day, saving lives and putting criminals behind bars, which would just be amazing._

_You are such a role model to me and it means a lot for me to be able to write to you. My mom called to figure out where I could send a letter too. I love my mom, she is so amazing. My dad was killed a month before I was born, my mom doesn't really talk about it, so I don't know how._

_I hope that you will reply, but I guess that you don't have too; I understand that you are a very busy person._

_From;_

_ Sarah._

* * *

Everyone sat in silence after they had read the letter. After a moment, Garcia kept speaking.

"I guess that he replied to her," she told them. "She sends dozens more letters, each one getting more and more personal. I guess he asked her what her medical problem was, because she answered that in the next letter."

"Did you read them all?" Prentiss asked as she took a handful of letters. Garcia nodded.

"There is one where she talks about her birthday," Garcia explained. "Apparently, he had the day off on her birthday so we flew out there. She talks about her dad a lot through them. She talks about what it's like to have cancer and how hard it is to stay strong."

"That is heartbreaking," JJ said as she looked through her handful of letters.

"I know it is," Garcia replied.

"What was the whole thing about Cherry Blossoms though?" Rossi asked. Garcia looked down in response.

"The last letter that Sarah ever sent to him. She talked about wanting to go to Washington D.C this year so that she could go and see the Cherry Blossom festival. I think I can find it" Garcia shuffled letters around a bit, but couldn't find it. Looking around she noticed that JJ had it. "JJ, pass me the letter dated February something." JJ obeyed and passed a letter to Garcia, and then Garcia passed it to Morgan. "You can see that they are a lot closer in this one..."

* * *

_Dear Spencer,_

_I think that is it time that I am honest with you; the Doctors don't think that I have long left. But I don't care. I am never going to give up, death will have one hell of an uphill battle to take me, and I thank you for that. Anyway, in the last letter that I got from you, you had asked me if there was one place that I had wanted to go._

_Well, I really want to go to Washington D.C this March and see the Cherry Blossom festival. I love Cherry Blossoms, they give me hope. They are so beautiful and they only stay from a short time. They can represent so much about our world. They are like the circle of life. They bloom and they are beautiful and then they die. A lot like life. It is so beautiful but everything ends. I'm not sure why something like that would give me hope, but it does. I guess its knowing that everything ends; it is kind of comforting, you know?_

_I think that as time goes on, as my body gets weaker, my soul and spirit get stronger. I don't want to die, not yet anyways. I'm smart, you said it yourself. Although I may not be a smart as you, I'm close. I want to put my brain to good use, I want to become a Doctor and I want to cure cancer. I think that I can do it, once I get better._

_Everyone says I'm going to die, my mom tells me that it's okay and that I can stop fighting it. I know that they all just want me to be happy, they don't want me to be in pain, but I don't care. I want to live; I have so much that I want to do with my life. And you know Spencer, I think that I have you to thank for showing me what I can do with my life. I feel like you are part of my family, like the older brother I never had._

_From:_

_ Sarah._

* * *

"That's horrible" Prentiss said as she wiped away tears. Garcia and JJ nodded in agreement.

"Not to be mean or cold hearted, but how is this relevant? I know she died, but still," Morgan asked as Hotch and Rossi picked up letters.

"Um..." Garcia said as she searched through the pile of remaining letters until she found the one that she was looking for. "This one was sent to Reid from Sarah's home address about two months ago. It's from the girl's mother."

She opened the letter and passed it to Hotch. He held it out for everyone to read.

* * *

_Dear Dr. Reid,_

_As much as I would hate to tell you this, I thought that you'd like to know. My daughter Sarah has passed away. I would like to thank you for all you have done over that past year for her. She viewed you as an older brother or a best friend, which was the one thing she always wanted. She looked up to you. You gave her the strength to fight her battle a little while longer. Thank you so much for easing her pain and making her late few months on this earth the best they could have been. _

_We have set the date for her funeral for March eighth. If you would like to attend, you are welcome to. I do hope to see you there. You meant so much to Sarah. I also sent you some photos of her growing up; she had asked me to do that. One last thing, she had asked me to tell you that you should go and see the Cherry Blossom Festival for her if you get the chance. Although I'm not sure what that means, I hope that life gives you the happiness that you gave Sarah._

_Sincerely:_

_ Rachel (Sarah's mother)_

* * *

"She didn't want to die, but she did," JJ said quietly. Everyone was silent as they remembered the day Reid had received that letter. He has been at work. It was about two months before when Reid had received that letter, he had looked so excited. Everyone had brushed it off as nothing; it was just a letter after all. Only, after reading it, Reid had gotten up and left the room. Morgan noticed that he looked upset and followed him. Reid had said that it was letter from his mom, she had said some crazy stuff and it just made him lose a little hope. Morgan had believed him. That was when it had all started. Since that day, Reid's depression had kicked in, that was the trigger. He was grieving for the loss of somebody he had viewed as a little sister. Everyone understood him, and nobody could blame him. Reid had seen Jessica as Sarah, not as himself. They had been wrong.

Everyone wanted to know more, but a male Doctor emerged, cutting everything short.

"Dr. Spencer Reid?" The Doctor called. The team stood up and Garcia gathered all of the letters.

Hotch was the first to approach.

"I am Dr. Taylor. Are you family?" The Doctor asked. Hotch nodded, ignoring the lie. He had to know if Reid was okay. "He is fine. We managed to remove the bullet and there should be no lasting damage. As for the fact he tried to kill himself, we're going to keep him here for a few days, then you can take him home."

Hotch nodded. "Can we see him?" he asked.

"Only a few of you, three at most. An no longer than a half hour," Dr, Taylor replied. He gave the team a moment to decide who was going to go in.

Morgan spoke first, "Hotch, JJ. Go home. You have kids waiting for you. We'll call if anything happens."

With a sigh, Hotch and JJ nodded before walking out of the room and towards the parking lot.

Rossi spoke next, "I'm going to go home too."

Morgan nodded in agreement. That left him, Prentiss and Garcia to go and see Reid. At least one of them, if not all, were going to stay overnight in their nation capital.

Together, they followed Dr. Taylor to Reid's room.

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**Okay guys, what do you think? Little bit of a plot twist in there. So, the story is almost done, probably only two chapters left, maybe more, maybe less. Oh, and see? I listened, I didn't kill off Reid. I just had Morgan shoot him instead. Aren't I just amazing? So, favorite, follow, and review. **

**Thank you!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it took so long to update, I just wasn't feeling this chapter, I'm still not. Well here you go anyways, this is the last chapter. I'd just like to thank everyone who favorited, followed and reviewed this story. You all mean a lot to me so again thank you.**

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Reid lay unconscious in the hospital bed. He looked so fragile, like even breathing on him would break him. He had a thick bandage wrapped around his shoulder, when Morgan saw it; it gave him a fresh wave of guilt.

Everything over the past few days had been guilt. It had been his idea to send Reid to find Jessica alone. He shot Reid. He didn't even know about the whole Sarah thing. Reid was like his brother, but he couldn't protect him.

Hotch was the one that covered up Reid shooting Pellish. Given, there was another weapon, but the likelihood of Reid seeing that would have been low. Reid had shot a disarmed man, yet Morgan had made no moves to help, he instead was cold hearted. A little girl had died and he had asked the relevance then again, he had been worried about Reid.

Prentiss sighed, "He isn't going to be awake for a while. Better find a seat."

As if on cue, Reid moaned and his eyes fluttered.

"Pretty boy?" Morgan asked as he pulled a chair up next to Reid's bed. Reid moaned again as Morgan sat. Garcia and Prentiss dragged two mores chairs to the opposite side of the bed from Morgan.

"Come on Reid, open your eyes," Prentiss urged her friend. After another moment, Reid opened his eyes.

The first thing everybody noticed was how exhausted and worn Reid looked. He appeared like he would fall back asleep at any moment.

"What-Where?" Reid began, there was a moment of silence before the memories came rushing back. "Oh." he said as he looked away from his three friends in the room. After another moment, Reid deduced that Hotch, Rossi and JJ must have gone home.

Morgan frowned. He had been hoping that Reid wouldn't remember why he had been there straight away, sadly he had been wrong.

"How are you doing Reid?" Prentiss asked when she noticed Morgan's displeasure.

"I'm doing fine..." Reid lied. His shoulder hurt, but he had refused any pain killers.

"Stop lying" Garcia said, everyone looked at her. It was completely out of character for her. She ignored to gazes and her eyes met Reid's. "You're lying to us; you're lying through your teeth. Stop it."

Reid didn't know what to say, he had expected Prentiss and Morgan to say something like that, but not Garcia. Prentiss and Morgan just stared at her, a shocked expression on each of their faces. Like Reid, neither of them ever expected to hear something like that form Reid.

After the moment of shock passed, Reid looked away from the three members of his team. "I already told you, I'm fine."

Morgan shot a quick glance at Garcia who looked as if she would rip anybody's head of at any given moment. At last, she spoke. This time in a softer tone, "Reid sweetie, she began, sounding like a mother. "We know about Sarah."

Reid cringed at the very mention of the late girl's name. "H-how did you f-find out about her?" Reid stuttered, clearly uncomfortable with the course that the conversation had taken. He was strangely aware for somebody who had just woken up.

"The letters" Prentiss replied in a calm voice.

"Reid," Morgan began. "Before we continue with this 'Sarah' issue, which you should have told us by the way, I need to ask you something." Not even waiting for a reply, Morgan asked the question that had been bothering him over the last few hours. "Why did you shoot Pellish?"

Reid met Morgan's eyes with a pure, undying anger. The kind of hatred that is rarely seen even in the most violent people. "The bastard said she liked it, said she wanted it. He deserved to die."

"So you didn't see the second weapon?" Prentiss whispered so that nobody could hear them.

"Second weapon?" Reid asked, not understanding what his friend had told him.

"He had another concealed weapon," Morgan told him in shock. He had believed in the justice system, he had defended it. But that fact that Reid had killed somebody in cold blood changed all that, he would have to lie to protect Reid. "Listen," he told Reid, Prentiss, and Garcia is a hushed tone. "If anybody asked, you saw the other weapon, okay Reid? We'll all cover for you because you're right; the bastard deserved what he got. Now," he said, a little louder, "Sarah."

Reid sighed; the bullet hole is his shoulder giving him pain. "You had no right to look at those letters. They were private," He told them angrily.

"Well," Garcia said, "now we understand what's going on. Come one, you should have told us."

Reid looked away from them; he couldn't deal with that mess at that time. He would have to explain his emotions, he would have to tell them about his failures and how they made him feel worthless and hopeless. He would have to tell them how he let Jessica die. There was so much that happened, so much she had wanted to do, but she died. They wouldn't even know the last thing she said to him, they couldn't understand. He couldn't talk to them, not without telling them about the phone call. The three words that made this all happen, the three words that made her death his failure. That was a secret he would take to the grave.

"Reid?" Prentiss asked, drawing his attention back to the real world. He realized then that he had begun to cry. A bright red flushed his face, he hated when people saw him cry.

"Hey Pretty Boy," Morgan said and he gave Reid's hand a gentle squeeze. "There is no reason to be ashamed of crying. You lost somebody, that's all. We can talk about this later though, after I get over the fact that I shot you."

The room burst into laughter, including Reid. A moment later the Doctor came in and told them that they would have to return the next day. Everyone nodded, said their goodbyes and left Reid alone. Which he didn't mind. He had some things to think about. Like the fact that he had tried to kill himself, he could barely believe that. Also, like the fact that he shoot Fredy Pellish for no reason other than he struck a nerve, and yet Reid didn't feel bothered by that. What bothered him was the fact that his team was willing to cover it up for him. Reid had spent the last month thinking nobody cared about him, thinking that he was alone, by God was he wrong.

It was then that Reid realized everything was going to get better; all he had to do was not give up. A smile appeared on his face as he remembered the words Jessica had almost always said, they seemed relevant, and in that moment Reid realized that he didn't want to die, he had been stupid. As he fell back asleep, Reid muttered Jessica's words out loud. "Death is going to have on of an uphill battle to take me."

_"God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas but for scars."- Eldert hubbard_

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**I don't know why I had Garcia act like that. I think I just got tired of reading fan fiction where Garcia is all gentle and timid, she really isn't. ****Another very important thing, I've had two requests, one for a Sequel, and one for a prequel. What do you guys think? If I were to write a sequel, would you read it? Also, if I were to write about Reid and Sarah, (including magical phone call I mentioned) would you be interested? Please let me know you're thoughts, if nobody really likes the idea, then I'll leave it. Again, thank you for reading and sorry this last chapter was short.**


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